How to Talk to Your Parents About a Care Plan

Navigating the Path to Senior Care with Confidence 

About the Author: Sherri Snelling is a leading gerontologist, author, and expert in aging and caregiving. She is dedicated to educating and empowering families on promoting dignity, purpose, and well-being for older adults.

As our parents age, the need for our support in their daily activities often arises. The challenge for adult children is these changes can be subtle or sudden and become more challenging if you live long-distance from your loved ones. Whether it is a gradual slowing down or an unexpected health diagnosis, it is crucial for adult children to start discussing a care plan with their parents. Proactively planning for your parents' later years can provide peace of mind and help them continue living life to the fullest.

The conversation about long-term care and end-of-life wishes can be delicate and you may encounter defensiveness from an older parent.  Gerontologists suggest following the "40-70 rule," meaning you should start these discussions by the time you are in your 40s or your parents are in their 70s. However, it is never too early to begin, especially since the costs of care are crucial financial planning conversations. Early and ongoing conversations can prevent stress and ensure everyone is prepared before an emergency or sudden issue arises.

Key Steps for Initiating the Care Conversation:

• Create a Comfortable Environment: Choose a setting where your parents feel at ease to discuss their future needs openly.
• Plan for Multiple Discussions: Tackling all aspects of a care plan in one conversation can be overwhelming. Spread the discussions out to cover all necessary topics thoroughly.
• Take Notes: Keep track of what was discussed and the next steps to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Once you have initiated the conversation, it is essential to create a comprehensive caregiving plan. This plan should outline the ongoing and changing care needs of your parents as they age and how these needs will be met. Understanding their specific health and happiness requirements is important. You may need help juggling the care responsibilities of older parents with your other family and work obligations and your need for self-care. Part of your caregiving plan may including coordinating with local caregivers, hiring professionals for certain tasks, or planning regular visits if you don’t live nearby.

While caring for an aging parent involves financial, legal, and other responsibilities, it is also an opportunity to strengthen family bonds and create joyful moments together. Spending quality time with your parents—whether it is playing a board game, cooking dinner, or watching a favorite movie—can be deeply fulfilling for both you and them.

Lastly, don’t hesitate to seek help. Research local caregiving services that can support your parents’ physical, emotional, and social needs. Comfort Keepers offers in-home caregiving services designed to empower seniors to maintain their independence while finding joy in everyday moments. Comfort Keepers’ highly trained caregivers can help your senior loved ones stay engaged socially, emotionally, and physically while living independently at home. 

By approaching the topic of senior care with compassion, empathy and sensitivity, you can help ensure that your parents continue to live happy and fulfilling lives.